Sienna Bentley
Whether or not we should set new year’s resolutions can be a fairly hot topic around this time of the year. Debates around whether they boost productivity or are simply a waste of time spring up again every January, and this time, we’re weighing in.
It’s probably important to preface that different things work for different people. The most crucial thing to consider is what works for you, regardless of whether it works for others. If setting new year’s resolutions gets you on track for the year ahead, then go forth and conquer. If not, there are some things you can try instead.
Nurture, don’t change
For many, new year’s resolutions are a way of holding themselves to account. They are often used to create routine, encourage good habits and push us to stick to these habits.
However, it is all too easy to get swept up in the idea of ‘new year, new me’, and we set these often unrealistic targets for ourselves that are sometimes unachievable. And when that happens, it can be so disheartening and we can view ourselves as failures.
I think perhaps new year’s resolutions can place too heavy an emphasis on trying to change yourself, rather than improving your already fabulous self. New year’s resolutions should lean into your existing qualities, instead of attempting to mould yourself into something different. This is the aspect that becomes unrealistic; it’s much harder to change something – and stick with these changes that don’t come naturally to you – than nurturing or improving what’s already there.
The word ‘resolution’
- “A firm decision to do or not to do something.”
- “The quality of being determined or resolute.”
- “The action of solving a problem.”
If we look at these definitions of the word ‘resolution’, they are all describing a rigid action or quality, or even signify an end (eg, ”solving a problem”, or a story’s resolution). Personally, I don’t feel as though goals for the year ahead should be set in stone as the word ‘resolution’ implies. The two biggest problems with new year’s resolutions is that often people set unrealistic targets with specific deadlines, which can lead to a negative self-view if one fails to achieve said targets.
Goals should be free flowing; adaptable, positive and achievable – with no specific deadline in place. These are things that you want to achieve in 2024, instead of “by April, I must…”.
Of course, it is absolutely key to still be intentional in your goal-setting, but being able to forgive yourself and give yourself time to achieve them is equally as critical.
Is winter the best time to start the ‘new you’?
Let’s not forget, it’s the height of winter right now. This is a bad time for the new year, as the dead of winter does not exactly scream ‘rebirth’. Winter is a time for hibernation, comfort and rest. Naturally, that makes it extremely difficult to get out there and conquer these grand expectations that have been set.
It goes against our nature to (successfully) reinvent ourselves around this time – spring is the time for rebirth, when the sun reemerges and we feel refreshed.
Looking ahead
For me, the new year is a good time for reflection upon the year just passed, and using that to think about the things I hope to achieve in the coming 12 months. I have written a list of goals, but these do not have deadlines, and they do not focus on things that would require a dramatic shift in my personal nature. That way, I know that I can attain them, but I will also forgive myself if I don’t – because sometimes, life just gets in the way.
Image source: Olivia O’Brien/Instagram
